My Blog

8/20/07 its been what?, 18, more or less, years of isolation. both literally and figuratively. ive often wondered as a kid, what he looks like? what his voice sound like? will he be happy if he founds out i exist? will he meet me with arms wide open? will he cry tears of longing and joy when he sees me? So many harrowing questions on my innocent child mind. i dont remember him. He was as mysterious and unreachable as an ethereal being. ok, iam exaggerating here. come on, its my space here. back to the topic, after those many long years, at last i found him. guess where? on the internet. to make this thing short, ok i now hav ehis contact infos and we txt each other sporadically [i love the word]. so i guess i have to end this thing here. i am HAPPY [note the capitalizations].

im unusually calm today. though my emotions is scalating every passing minute. i try to look as serene and peaceful as possible. but i know im just human. i will free these freaking emotions later. when i face her. when i get to see her face. when i get to slap my letter against her face. i am calm, now. i am wearing my poker face, my favorite mask. no one will know im dying inside. but later, later, i will throw up every bit of hurt and betrayal i feel inside.

im happy even if i am not feeling well. physically, hahay, im down with cough and colds and… secret na lng kc kakahiya. emotionally, i am happy cos now i know thatsomeone really cares for me.